You don’t realize how much you depend on your back for daily tasks until you’re dealing with an injury or pain. I suppose it’s the same for arms, legs, knees. Many wrestle with back issues at some point. I’ve been dealing with a combination of chronic pain coupled with “old people maladies” like bursitis. We used to shake our heads when older folks’ conversations turned to illnesses, but I understand it now.

At the start of our heat wave, I held off the first 80-degree day, thinking I didn’t really need my air conditioner. It often feels too cold to me. I thought fans might do it. As the humidity picked up, however, and temps rose more to the 90s range, I knew I had to give in, both for me and my hairy cats.

About seven years ago, I saw a sale on window air conditioners. In Michigan, our unit was part of the furnace and covered the whole house, but I realized I’d be happy if I could just cool the living room on the hottest days. The small unit I wanted was sold out, so I ended up taking a larger and much heavier model. It works well. The trick is getting it in the window every season!

Early on, I called for my brother to help. Being the independent that I am, I somehow got the massive box into the house, but had no idea how to put it in a window and fasten it so it didn’t fall out. Dale to the rescue!

Later, my handyman added it to his summer and fall duties. I cringe now when I think how I asked poor Bob to carry it up and down basement stairs. It is SO heavy. A couple years ago, my sister suggested I leave it upstairs and pointed out I should use my rolling office chair to move it to and from the back entrance area. Yeah! Miss Independent was able to lift it onto the chair, with effort, then a few inches up into the window, whenever I wanted, without asking for help. In the fall, it was easier to slide it down onto the chair, then onto the floor. Mission accomplished.

For a couple years, this worked fine. Earlier this week when I made the sudden decision I DID want the coolness of an A/C after all, I wheeled my chair to the back hall, bent, hefted the unit to the seat—and immediately felt the “zing” in my already aching back.

I thought I could keep going and wheeled it to the window. It was then I saw I had a problem. My back ached like crazy and I could not picture hefting it again, even a few inches upward to the sill. I didn’t know how I could get it to an open window while keeping two curious cats from jumping OUT the window. I had to face facts. I can no longer do everything I did myself when I was younger and stronger and not facing physical issues.

I had to accept that I needed help! If you’re like me, that can be daunting. Even my husband used to ask, “Why didn’t you wait for me?” when he’d return home to find furniture turned around and smelled the Bengay. I guess I just liked doing things myself.

During a recent illness, I recognized the same inner stubbornness. I was housebound for a time. Numerous friends said, “If you need anything, just ask.” I sat a few days not wanting to bother anybody. Finally, I drummed up enough humility to ask, and a couple kind individuals brought groceries. Another offered a ride to the doctor and the next day, a return trip to the ER for a prescribed IV treatment. Normally, I would have just driven myself, a decidedly unwise move. I’m lucky to have caring people in my friends circle.

Sunday, I sat for an hour pondering who I might call for help to install the air conditioner. My siblings live out of town, though they would have come. If I’d asked! Many of my friends are seniors like me, with aching backs of their own. I couldn’t impose.

I finally called Bob, the trusty handyman, figuring even if it had to be Monday, we’d be cool the rest of the week. They say, “fortune favors the bold.” I’m not sure who “they” are, but once I revved myself up to make the call and ask, Bob happened to be in Westons Mills, headed for another job in Portville. He popped in and, thankfully, solved the problem in ten minutes.

The lesson for me is first, I have to acknowledge my limitations as I get older and become less able to maintain my profile as Miss Independent on everything. It’s hard. I have to recognize my good fortune to have family, friends and a handyman, all willing to help, as I would be for them.

Finally, an important step: I have to ask!

(Contact contributor Deb Wuethrich at deborahmarcein@gmail.com)